Chapter 1 — If Only I Could

‘Manager Lee, how about a drink tonight?’

That damn drink invitation again.

Every time quitting hour neared, Daniel Shin would prowl the office like a starving hyena, circling for a coworker to share the evening with. People had long grown indifferent to his routine.

Privately, they wondered if he feared credit card bills at all—how long could someone keep guzzling like this before everything collapsed?

I’d always been curious—how had he climbed so high in corporate ranks without being a foreign-educated elite or a nepotism hire? And yet, he remained single.

Despite his striking looks, he showed no interest in women. He never cracked even a casual joke toward female coworkers.

Work was another matter. He threw himself into the company as if it were his own, rushing to meetings, volunteering for other departments’ tasks with the frantic energy of a puppy desperate to please. No one seemed to have the nerve to stop him.

I, with a family to tend to, stuck to regular hours, but he was always in earlier, downing cups of coffee with no countable limit. Seeing him wave off colleagues who left before him, I often thought he looked like someone born to live inside the office.

A few female employees did show interest, drawn by his bachelor status—but that interest died quickly. His cold detachment, combined with the relentless work ethic they witnessed daily, made them imagine the stress of marriage would be unbearable. Most gave up immediately.

From what I’d heard from Nina Seo, the assistant who occasionally drank with him, Shin’s drinking capacity was beyond imagination. Two or three rounds were just the start. He’d keep drinking until he sobered up, a stamina few could match.

Company outings were when Shin’s talents truly shone—not just his drinking, but his singing. At dinners, whether there was alcohol or not, he’d pull out his belt like a microphone, belt out a tune with flair, and swing the belt like a snake charmer, sending the whole room into hysterics. Watching him, I’d wonder—how could such a warm, lively man remain alone?

So when this man, who usually avoided drinking like a monk, suddenly insisted on sharing a drink with me, I had no idea what to make of it.

‘How about a drink, classmate? We haven’t caught up in ages.’

‘And what’s the occasion this time?’

‘Do I need an occasion? I just feel like drinking. Coming or not?’

It had been a while since we’d spent time together, so I agreed.

Coworkers around us teased me, asking what miracle had possessed me. One departing employee even made a joke, clenching his fists and shouting, “Manager Lee, good luck!” as if I were heading to my doom.

I thought, it’s not like I’m going to die. Was it really that shocking? I called home to say I’d be taking a cab, a little uneasy.

Was I making a mistake, tagging along like this? Would I even be able to show up at work tomorrow?

‘What does your wife say? Telling you not to go because I might eat you alive?’

‘Come on, don’t joke. So, where are we headed?’

First, dinner, he said. We ate at a nearby beongazi stew place, then headed to a bar he claimed to know well.

I expected him to order drinks right away, but he ate quietly, politely. I sensed a side of him I’d never seen before.

We were closer than most—both entry-level hires, now both managers. I knew his drinking habits better than anyone. But tonight, he seemed… lonely.

Halfway through the meal, I asked.

‘Seriously, why out of the blue do you want to drink with me?’

‘We’ve been together since day one, but we’ve grown so distant. It feels wrong.

It feels like yesterday we started, and now we’re managers. Next year, we’ll be aiming for deputy manager.

Remember Grace Yoon, the HR assistant who trained us? Remember what he said about office life? That you either count down the years until retirement—3, 5, 7, 9—or you work yourself to death?’

‘Yeah, back then I didn’t get it. Now it hits me right in the skin.

You and I—no inheritance, no golden ticket, no special skills. All we’ve got is our heads to bang against the wall… heh.’

Our conversation carried the bitterness only salaried men could understand.

Lately, we’d started noticing how different the new hires were. They left on time without glancing at their superiors, drew clear boundaries in meetings—no more volunteering for others’ work like we once did.

While we still drafted plans on paper before typing them, they treated the monitor as their sketchpad. We watched them effortlessly produce final reports, and thought, these kids really are different.

Outside work, their interests were worlds apart. While we grew up with Walkmans, they downloaded music onto MP3s. They fired off texts and photos at machine-gun speed on phones we barely knew how to use—constantly surprising us.

And so, as managers ourselves, we found ourselves pushed and shoved by their wave—do we keep counting 3, 5, 7, 9? Or are we already stepping into the shadow of early retirement? It was our daily reality.

Contrary to Nina Seo’s stories, Shin led us to a stylish stand-up bar tonight. The bartender greeted him.

‘Manager, you’re here? And you brought a drinking buddy?’

‘Yeah. Didn’t feel like coming alone, and the usual followers ran out of steam. So I brought someone older but still fresh. Give us the stored liquor.’

The bartender fetched a bottle from the back shelf, one with a name tag hanging on it. The reserved bottle of a regular. So this was Shin.

‘Damn. You’re cooler than I thought—I’ve only seen this in dramas.’

‘It saves money. I usually come alone. But since I brought you, this bottle’s ruined.’

‘Don’t worry about it. I’m not the kind to drink myself to death. But seriously, what’s going on? Bringing me to a place like this…’

‘What do you think? I came to complain about my life.’

‘Complain? You’re single—what do you have to complain about? Do you even want to get married?’

‘Why wouldn’t I want to marry? I’m a man, aren’t I?’

Tonight, Shin seemed dull, lifeless—nothing like his usual energetic self. We both sipped slowly, the silence stretching.

‘Manager, there was a call earlier…’

He nodded, then asked who would call him at a bar. He said it was the owner of a bar he frequented.

Must’ve been a while since he last came, he said, and stepped out to make a call.

‘Does Daniel Shin come here often?’

‘Yes, but always alone. Late, much later than now. He comes, has one or two drinks, and leaves quickly. Tonight’s an exception… I’ve never seen him bring anyone before.’

Another side of him. I’d always assumed he drank in crowds, but he spent a lot of time alone?

I grew curious about the caller.

‘Does he get calls often?’

‘You seem to have a lot of questions… I guess you’re not that close, huh?’

A clever bartender. He politely guarded his regular’s privacy.

‘No, it’s not that. I just don’t like drinking. But we are entry-level classmates, you know.’

‘Ah, I see! It’s a woman, I think. Sounded older. She always asks if Daniel Shin came, and if he did, to tell him she called.

She never leaves unpaid tabs—must be someone close. But strangely, she never calls on her phone.

It seems Daniel Shin only calls back when he hears she called here.’

Just then, Shin returned.

‘Keep my drink safe. You know the mark I made.’

He moved to another seat and paid. When I offered, he insisted.

‘Next time, you can buy me a crooked drink,’ he said, stepping out to hail a taxi—his usual energetic self.

‘Where to?’

‘Just follow me for now. Who knows? Something good might happen.’

We took a taxi to Gangnam’s bustling entertainment district. After a short walk, we arrived at a club named Yahwa—Night Flower.

The marble floor, the long corridor lit with elegant wall lights—it was clearly no ordinary place. The kind of high-end spot where wealthy clients came to be spoiled.

‘Damn, this place won’t be cheap.’

‘A little drink money…’

Inside the room, I was stunned by the luxurious interior—no trace of cheapness anywhere. It felt like a high-end hotel.

‘Damn, you always drink in places like this?’

‘No, I just know the place. The vibe doesn’t suit me, so I don’t come often.’

Then the door opened. A waiter in a suit bowed deeply to Shin.

‘Manager, welcome. The madam’s been waiting. Shall I bring her in? The girls too…?’

Shin ordered snacks and drinks smoothly, then signaled for two girls.

I thought he only drank—now girls too? Guess a real player was different.

Soon, the door opened. The waiter brought in drinks and snacks, followed by the girls.

But there were three.

Two looked like fresh college girls, young and vibrant. The third was a woman in her fifties—calm, mature.

She told the waiter not to let anyone in before leaving, then gestured to one of the girls beside me. The girl quickly ran to the door, locked it from the inside.

The older woman sat beside Shin. I was left sandwiched between two girls, utterly flustered.

‘Shin! I can’t handle two girls!’

Shin said it was fine, just drink. The older woman stood and introduced herself.

‘I didn’t expect Manager to bring a guest. Let me introduce myself. I’m Jung-hwa, the owner. You two, introduce yourselves too.’

The girls beside me finally spoke, still awkward, switching between “sir” and “boss” as they poured me drinks.

I was puzzled. Why was Shin drinking with the madam instead of the young girls? If it were me, I’d jump at the chance to drink with fresh young things.

‘Shin, you’re really going all out with the madam? That’s a unique taste.’

‘It’s fine. Everyone—let’s drink until we drop. Cheers!’

Shin raised his glass high. We clinked and drank.

Unlike the quiet bar earlier, the drinks now poured faster. The mood grew wild. Shin pulled out his belt again, swinging it in his signature snake act. I kept running to the bathroom, feeling the alcohol take hold.

Amid the noise, the madam quietly exchanged words with Shin, her posture steady as she passed drinks. Then she stood up.

She wore a cocktail dress, and her age was hard to guess.

Her subtle, alluring eyeshadow and elegant makeup made her beauty undeniable—age aside, she was stunning.

At her age, most women had sagging hips and bloated bellies—yet her figure was flawless.

And then, as she sang, she suddenly seemed to rip her long dress down the middle. I realized she was wearing a mini skirt underneath.

Her legs, wrapped in dark brown stockings, emerged—so perfect, I gasped.

How could someone her age have such a body? After her song and sexy dance, I asked.

‘Sorry to ask, but how old are you?’

‘Hey, idiot, if you know it’s rude, don’t ask!’

‘It’s okay. I feel a bit awkward myself, not fitting in here. I’m almost fifty. Surprised?’

I was stunned. I turned to Shin, spitting out words about her figure, her sexiness, joking I’d picked the wrong girl—only to get scolded by the girls beside me.

When everyone was nicely drunk, the madam glanced at the two girls beside me.

They said their goodbyes and hurried out.

I watched their plump, swaying asses disappear, and my drunkenness cleared instantly.

After the girls left, the madam dimmed the lights.

She turned off the karaoke machine, flipped a switch in the corner—and soft, mood-setting music began to play.

‘Let’s have some fun, shall we?’

Let’s. Shin and I exchanged glances, suppressing laughter.

I said I needed the bathroom and stepped out. As I finished and came out, I saw two people clinking glasses.

‘Manager didn’t drink, so I took the liberty of pouring one. Let’s all drink!’

I reflexively took the straight glass the madam offered. Shin and the madam both shouted “To—!” and downed their drinks.

The liquor burned slightly bitter, but I drank without thinking.

Though the drink was strong, after that sip, my mind began to blur.

My body felt weightless. A tingling warmth spread through my chest. My groin started to twitch.

‘Hey… this feels weird. Shin, you okay?’

‘It’s a special drink the madam prepared just because you came. It’s different from usual. Tastes amazing, right? I told you—we’re drinking until we drop!’

‘You put drugs in it? Nah, I don’t believe that crap.’

The madam, who had been sitting beside Shin, now moved and sat beside me. A strong perfume hit me—definitely Poison.

She placed her hands on both men’s thighs and began to stroke slowly.

‘Manager isn’t only weak to alcohol. I put something in my drink too. Let’s enjoy together.’

I was furious. This wasn’t just a drink—it was drugs? And I had to take it just to play with some old hag?

But with Shin’s dignity on the line, I had no choice but to stay quiet.

Yet, staying quiet wasn’t the issue—the drug and alcohol seemed to amplify each other. My cock, usually limp when drunk, now stood rigid, completely out of control.

Normally, heavy drinking killed my erection. But now, even after so much liquor, my cock was straining against my pants. It had to be the drug.

Shin silently kept drinking. The madam took my hand and placed it on her thigh.

I pretended to go crazy and shoved my hand deep under her short skirt.

I felt no panties where they should be. I gasped.

Then her lips crashed onto mine. I grabbed her breast—one hand barely enough to hold it. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and her nipples were shockingly firm for her age.

Her size was no joke.

Our lips smeared with saliva as we turned our faces, sucking each other’s tongues in a deep kiss. My hands, even while sitting, kept lifting her skirt, spreading her legs.

Her skirt, already short, rolled up completely as she spread her legs—her ass and pussy fully exposed.

Still kissing me, the madam slowly unbuttoned my tie and shirt. Shin, who had been silently watching, now began to undress too.

Our bloodshot eyes showed the drug’s peak effect.

Shin and I wordlessly stripped and tossed our clothes aside.

As I turned and kissed the madam, Shin unzipped the back of her cocktail dress.

The zipper came down. Her beautiful shoulders slowly revealed. I marveled again at her flawless, pale skin.

‘They say fair skin means no husband’s luck. Guess it’s true.’

‘Oh? When you do things like this, you can change young husbands anytime you want. What’s wrong with that?’

My cock, fully erect, felt numb.

Whatever drug it was, my cock was so swollen it felt like the skin might tear. I couldn’t believe it.

‘Madam, if I become a regular because of this feeling, I’m ruined. I can’t afford to come often… this is serious.’

She gave me a look like I was talking nonsense and started licking my nipple.

Her tongue swirled around it, and under her relentless attack, my nipple stood straight, sending chills through me.

Meanwhile, my cock was slowly massaged by the madam’s delicate hand.

The drug made me forget her age. As if that was exactly what she’d hoped for when she drugged me.

Shin pressed against the madam’s back, biting her neck and earlobe, whispering something in a dark tone.

The three of us, naked, weren’t just relying on drugs.

The madam’s body was as alluring as any young woman’s. Even without drugs, in this mood, sex would’ve been inevitable.

She was too fresh, too attractive for age to matter.

Her pussy was hairless—shaved clean, as if refusing to let age be guessed from her pubic hair.

I was shocked to see her labia were wider than most women’s.

And the plump shape of her lips made me wonder—was this what a true courtesan looked like?

Now, the madam straddled my cock, sucking it deeply into her mouth.

Behind her, standing on the couch, was Shin.

He calmly observed the view of her spread ass and pussy, even sighing in pleasure.

She kept her stockings on, even naked—maintaining visual excitement for both men. Her performance was flawless.

Shin caressed her ass like fine pottery, occasionally flicking her twitching anus and the smooth, hairless flesh of her pussy.

Each touch made the madam moan around my cock, even biting it gently—clearly turned on.

Then Shin disappeared between her round hips.

Probably going down on her pussy.

Even while sucking me, the madam moans and shivered from the pleasure of being eaten.

I admired Shin’s endurance. He lifted his head—tears welling in his eyes.

At first, I thought it was from the drug, but it wasn’t.

The madam turned, stopped sucking me, and immediately kissed Shin.

As she kissed, she moved her body onto me, still sitting.

I had no time to check on Shin—my mind was gone as her bare pussy pressed onto my cock.

Her plump lips wrapped around me like gloves. My cock slid into her pussy with a wet, welcoming slide.

The two kept murmuring incoherently, never breaking the kiss.

On top of me, the madam slowly rotated her hips, then leaned forward and took Shin’s cock into his mouth.

His length was average, nothing special—but his thickness was insane.

I’d seen him at the sauna before, but never like this. Erect, it looked like a hammer.

The madam didn’t even look at him—just sucked his cock fiercely.

Then she changed position, still covered in her own juices, and went back to sucking me, spreading her pussy for Shin.

I’d heard that after menopause, women don’t produce much lubrication. Hers felt a bit dry.

Shin closed his eyes and pushed his cock into her pussy. The dryness and his thickness made it hard to enter.

The madam stopped sucking me, reached back, and spread her pussy lips.

With a grunt, Shin’s weight pushed into her ass. He was in.

Shin kept his eyes closed, gripping her hips, thrusting.

The madam’s shoulders shook toward me with each of Shin’s thrusts. She didn’t speak—just moaned, “Ugh! Ugh!” around my cock.

Then Shin picked up speed, slamming into her. The madam’s head, shaking with her hair, matched his rhythm with insane acceleration.

Shin’s hips tilted back, repeatedly slapping her ass—and then he screamed.

‘…..Mom! Aunt! Ah… ah… ah!’

At the same moment Shin climaxed, the madam lifted her face from my cock, mouth open, screaming into the air—and she was crying too.

My cock shot up, splattering her chest and under her chin.

I closed my eyes, lost in extreme oral pleasure—had I heard wrong?

The three of us caught our breath, letting the afterglow settle. Without a word, we quietly dressed.

The madam, busy wiping semen from her chest and chin—mine and Shin’s—said nothing.

‘Tonight was really fun. I’ll see you next time.’

She put on her clothes, grabbed the skirt piece she’d separated earlier, and left.

‘Let’s go! We need a nightcap!’

Shin walked out, saying nothing.

No one asked for payment. He left as if it were natural. The madam didn’t appear.

Shin took a taxi back to the stand-up bar. As soon as he sat, he ordered more drinks and started chugging.

‘Manager. You heard everything, right?’

‘What?’

I pretended not to know.

‘Things I shouted.’

‘Yeah, well… with the madam’s age, maybe you just slipped and called her that?’

‘No. You couldn’t have guessed—but that madam… she’s my real aunt. One of the reasons I’ve never married.

I tried to let you pass without knowing, but I couldn’t. I resisted it for so long, but today… she set the date.’

‘Set the date?’

‘You don’t know much about me.’

He kept muttering things I couldn’t understand.

‘Have you ever thought about why I work so hard? Is it just my personality? Or do I just love work? Hmm. What could it be?’

‘You enjoy working, don’t you? You always have…’

‘Would I work this hard if this weren’t my father’s company? The chairman is my father. My late mother was his third concubine…’

‘But you and the chairman have different surnames?’

‘That’s why my mother died. My surname couldn’t be registered in my father’s family register, so I took my mother’s.

Young and beautiful, she caught the chairman’s eye, became a concubine, had me. But men… they lie, charm women with false promises.

My mother naively believed he’d divorce and live with her.

After giving birth, she was denied registration. For days, she stood at the chairman’s gate, holding me—a bloody bundle—begging to be registered. The head wife refused.

According to my aunt, my mother came home sobbing, holding only me and a single envelope. She’d lost everything else, her mind broken.

Inside the envelope was a huge sum of money.

Later, I learned the real reason they rejected me—my mother and my aunt were twins.

Some superstition, I guess. They refused to accept children of twins.

From then on, my mother couldn’t see my father. Hating herself for being sold for a little money, she fell ill and died.

It must’ve been rage sickness. With that money, my aunt started her dream business—this very club. She never married, raised me, built it all.’

‘And the company?’

‘After I graduated, my aunt went to the chairman. My hiring was a given.

I never called him father in my life. Never even met him face to face after joining the company. But I couldn’t stand being seen as a bastard, so I threw myself into work. Hearing this for the first time? It’s the first time I’ve confessed it.’

Shin’s past was a stain that had crushed him his whole life.

‘My aunt is my only blood relative—my mother, my father all in one.

She lived only for me, running a bar yet fiercely guarding her chastity, like a faithful widow.

But then… she started falling for me.

For me, who missed my mother so much, accepting affection from someone who looked exactly like her… it was unbearable.

Living in the same house, I tried every way to avoid her physical advances—but it was useless.

One reason I kept drinking late… was to escape her.

Eventually, I realized waiting longer would only hurt us both. I made a decision.

I didn’t have the courage alone. I planned to do it with a friend, kept delaying… and ended up here.’

‘So the aunt needed courage too—that’s why she drugged us.’

‘Probably. She’s lived alone her whole life, devoted only to me. The idea of sleeping with me—she couldn’t face it sober.

Now that I’ve told you everything… what will you do?’

‘What do you mean? If you ever need me to join in… I’ll be grateful. I’ll pretend I don’t know.’

Shin laughed weakly. His face showed worry—how to live now, with an aunt he’d shared flesh with.

In his heart, the faces of his dead mother and twin aunt must have overlapped.

And if only he could, he’d wish that bitter cup before him would just disappear.

-End-