Chapter 1 — A Woman's Freedom

"Huh… hah… honey…"

"Ahh…"

"Just… just a little more… uh…"

"Ahh… Ahh…!!!"

"Uh… why… why are you… stopping…"

"I'm… sorry…"

No sooner had her husband's whisper brushed against Sarah Han's ear than she felt it—the faint, barely satisfying presence deep inside her suddenly slipping away.

It hadn't been powerful, but at least it had sparked a slow burn within her body, something she thought he'd be able to sustain. But…

Somewhere along the way, her husband had changed. After climaxing once each night, he no longer tried to return to her. He didn't seem to notice the fire still burning in her body. She strained, writhing against him, trying to revive his limp member with her movements, but it was all in vain. That was it.

Even when she forced it, even when she squeezed and pushed with every ounce of strength, it would only twitch feebly at the entrance before dying again.

This had gone on for some time now. Lately, two or three days would pass—sometimes even a week—without him touching her at all.

And when he did come to her, he'd thrash about as if desperate, but it was like throwing a pebble into an endless sea—nothing changed.

Something had entered her, yes. There was definitely a man pressing down on her belly, weighing her down with his body. But aside from the ache in her stomach and her ragged breathing, there was absolutely no sensation below.

"Grroooh… krrr…"

He was already fast asleep.

After just a few frantic movements atop her, the moment he rolled off her body, he began snoring loudly.

Leaving behind only a single whispered phrase by her ear—
"I'm sorry, honey…"

Sarah Han sat up and looked down between her legs, past the dark patch of hair.
At least he'd managed to leave a faint trace of white semen seeping out.

Annoyed, Sarah Han grabbed a tissue.

She pressed it firmly against the dampness, catching the dribbling fluid.
That was the only way to keep it from staining the sheets.

"Tch…"

A quiet, bitter sound escaped her lips, brushing against her husband's ears—but he didn't stir. Not even a flicker.

What kind of man is this?

Inside, Sarah Han cursed him bitterly.
She'd made the sound loud on purpose, hoping he'd hear her disappointment. But he either didn't hear it—or chose to ignore it.
There was no reaction. Just the steady drone of his snoring.

Frustrated, Sarah Han yanked another handful of tissues from the box and gripped her husband's penis.

She didn't want to do this. She resented this lifeless thing that gave her nothing, yet left her feeling soiled. But she had no choice. She wiped it clean.

If she didn't, he'd wake up in the morning and snap at her for no reason.

Ever since their dating days, he'd always demanded she clean his penis after sex.
As if it were simply a woman's duty.

As Sarah Han held his flaccid member and wiped it with the tissue, memories surfaced.

Back then…
How firm and strong it had been.
How it had taught her pleasure, awakened her to the joy of sex.

That same organ—once so proud and capable—was now nothing but a useless lump of flesh.

She'd tried so hard to revive it.
Overcoming her shame, she'd even asked her mother for help, brewing countless herbal remedies.
She'd visited fortune tellers known for their miracles, praying for change.
Once, hearing rumors of a snake-based tonic, she'd spent hundreds of thousands of won buying a foul-smelling serpent, boiling it down and forcing him to drink.

But it was all pointless. The herbs only worked temporarily—
for a brief moment, he'd swagger like a young warrior, but once the effect wore off, he'd slump back into a broken man.

It was like tossing a pebble into the ocean—only to watch it vanish without a ripple.

Once, the mere touch of her hand would make it rise proudly, eager and alert.
Now, it hung limply, indifferent to her touch, soft and slack in her palm.

"Honey…"

Sarah Han shook his shoulder gently, trying to wake him.

"Honey…"

"Mm… huh? What? I'm tired… let's just sleep… okay?"

He forced his eyes open for a second, then shut them again instantly, resuming his snoring.

She wiped the last traces of moisture from his penis and stared at it for a long while.
It lay there, utterly pitiful—so shriveled it felt smaller than a finger.

She reached for it again. Why has it come to this? Why is it so weak, so lifeless?
She kneaded it in her hand, clinging to a faint hope. She kept touching, rubbing, waiting—
but there was still no weight, no response. It just hung there, head bowed.

Back when we made dumplings during holidays, even the dough felt firmer in my hands than this.

Nothing. No sensation at all.

The harder she squeezed, the more it seemed to sink inward.
No matter how much she tried, it refused to lift its head.

Suddenly, something flashed in her mind.

That time… Yes. Maybe I should try it. Maybe…?

Shame burned through her, but the urge grew stronger.
No—she needed to try it.

Slowly, Sarah Han lowered her face toward him.

Memories rushed back—the time he brought home a videotape, saying, "Got an awesome movie, let's watch together," pulling her under the covers.

Back then, she'd been flustered, too embarrassed to really look. But he'd watched intently, caressing every inch of her body, getting aroused—
and finally, he'd pressured her into mimicking what they saw on screen, even though it hurt.

That was the first time she'd ever experienced orgasm.

Of course, she'd known pleasure before—during their dating days, he'd introduced her to sex.
But it had never been like that. Never so wild, so overwhelming.

Before, it was just a vague craving—something she wanted again, something that lingered in her thoughts, something she'd catch herself staring at when he was naked.
That was all.

She'd enjoyed seeing him happy, watching him sweat and moan above her, losing himself.
That was good enough—the fact that she could bring him joy, the curiosity, the simple pleasure of it all.

But that night, watching the porn tape—it was on a completely different level.
Something had bubbled up inside her, boiling hot and urgent. Something entirely new.

And now, that memory returned.

They'd watched many times since, but none had imprinted on her like that first stolen glimpse beneath the covers.

Recalling the women's actions in the video, Sarah Han guided her face closer to her husband's limp member.

Right… she did it like this…

A flicker of hope sparked. What if this wakes it up?
What if it grows hard again—solid, thick, filling the emptiness inside her?
What if it could just cool the fire burning in her body?

That longing pushed aside her shame, drawing her face forward.

It smelled slightly unpleasant—not exactly foul, but far from sweet. Still, Sarah Han opened her mouth.

She felt a strange sense of discovery, as if stepping out of her usual passive role.
Her body resisted, recoiling instinctively, yet deep inside, that familiar arousal still lingered—unwilling to fade.

She touched the tip of his penis with her tongue.

A strange taste spread across her tongue, flooding her senses.
Startled, she pulled back. It was bizarre. Unsettling.

The aftertaste was odd too. But still, she opened her mouth again.

She took the head of his penis—the glans, as she'd read in encyclopedias—into her mouth in one go.

It felt soft, mushy—like biting into a jelly candy when she was a child. Not pleasant at all.

The flavor was strange. The scent, too, crept into her nostrils—sharp, unfamiliar.
She realized it must be from the fluids clinging to him, remnants of earlier when he'd entered her.

It tasted slightly repulsive—but knowing it came from her own body, the disgust quickly faded.

Still, there was no reaction. His member remained limp, motionless, like a jelly candy forgotten in her mouth.

How did she do it again? Sarah Han struggled to remember.

But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't recall the actress's exact movements inside her mouth.

Right… what happened in the mouth was her secret.

She replayed the mental tape.

As the play button clicked in her mind, the image flowed back—
the woman's head moving slowly, her mouth glistening with saliva dripping from the corners,
her tongue coating the thick shaft with wetness as she bobbed gently.

Yes… that's right. The woman took the man's penis in her mouth and moved her head… Exactly.

Heart pounding, Sarah Han wrapped her lips around her husband's flaccid member and began to move her head slowly.

There was a difference—a distinct ridge. As she moved, she could feel the thickness changing inside her mouth.

So this is the glans…

She realized now—there was a shape to it, a contour she'd never noticed before.
She'd touched it during sex, seen it in books, but never studied it like this.

Right… when it enters, it feels big, but once inside, the base feels slightly thinner… So that's why…

She pulled it out and examined it again.

Still no change. In the videos, the men's penises swelled instantly when sucked.
But his remained soft.

She glanced at her husband's face—still snoring, completely unaware.

Seeing him like that, oblivious, made her angry.

"Kkak!"

Irritation flared—but he was her husband. The man she had to spend her life with.

She gripped his member again. This time, something felt different in her palm.
She looked closely.

There it was. Slightly larger than before.

She brought her other hand to support it. Yes—definitely different.

Just as I thought…

His penis was undeniably growing.

A new firmness, a faint pulse of life, had entered it.

She felt certain now. Her mouth had done this.
Determined, she took it back into her mouth, adjusting her angle for better contact.

The sensation was different. Before, it had felt like sucking a tiny, limp jelly candy—floppy, lifeless.

But now—
it was firmer, thicker, almost like holding a banana in her mouth. A hint of sweetness teased her senses.

She moved her head.

Gradually, steadily,
the soft, wobbly flesh in her mouth began to harden.

Definitely different. Not like before.

With every movement, her husband's penis grew stiffer inside her mouth.

After a while…

Without realizing it, his member had fully filled her mouth.

Her lips stretched tight, her throat constricted. Breathing became difficult.
Moving her head at all was now a struggle.

Again and again, his swelling penis bumped against her lips, making them puff up like balloons.
And deep in her lower abdomen, a long-forgotten sensation began to bloom.

Yes… this is it…

She gripped his now-slick member with both hands, coated in her saliva.

It felt slippery, like holding a fish covered in scales.

"Uh… what… what are you doing?"

Somehow, her husband had opened his eyes and was staring down at her.

Suddenly, shame crashed over her.

He'd seen her—mouth full, moving up and down on his cock.
She wanted to vanish, to hide somewhere, anywhere.

"Ha!… You… really?"

He grabbed his fully erect penis, looking between it and Sarah Han with disbelief.

"No… it's not…"

Overwhelmed by humiliation, Sarah Han twisted away, yanking the blanket over her head, curling into a ball, refusing to move.

Idiot…

Even though they were married, even though they shared a body and a life, this was something she'd never done—even when he begged, even when he pressured her.

Even when she reluctantly gave in to his demands, she'd never felt this kind of shame.

Under the dark cover of the blanket, she couldn't bring herself to look out.

"Honey… uh…"

Her husband was awake now, fully aware.

The blanket rustled as he tried to pull it down.

She clutched it tightly, fighting to keep it over her face.

But below, her defenses were already crumbling.

The place that had felt fine moments ago—while she sucked his cock with her tongue—was now transformed without her knowledge.

Wetter than during their recent sex. Drenched.

Beyond what a tissue could absorb.
She could barely contain the mix of her own juices and his semen.

And now, it was slowly, sensuously trickling down her inner thigh.

"Sarah Han…"

Her husband's voice, soft and coaxing, came from outside the blanket.

She wanted to throw it off, to take his cock back into her mouth.
She wanted to beg him—fill me, please.
To grab his member and press it into her empty core.

Her heart was screaming—yes!
But she couldn't move.

Some invisible sorrow held her back. Shame overwhelmed her.

"Sarah Han… it's okay… I won't say a word… okay?"

His voice came again.

She wanted to throw off the blanket. But how?

She hesitated.

Should she just lift her head and fall into his arms?
After all… yes… it would be fine. He was her husband. Her own man.

As these thoughts swirled, her grip on the blanket loosened.

Whether from exhaustion or surrender, she felt the tension drain from her arms.

In an instant, the blanket was pulled away—
and her husband's naked body appeared before her.

His penis still stood tall, rigid, as if glaring directly into her mouth.

"Why? What's wrong?"

She tried to snatch the blanket back, but it was too late.
Her husband had already tossed it to the floor.

He looked at her—his face full of amusement, smiling widely.

"Sarah Han… it's okay… that was amazing…"

He leaned in, soothing her with a gentle kiss on the lips, then softly bit her earlobe as he whispered:

"Go on… touch it. It's so strong because of you…"

Reluctantly, Sarah Han reached for his penis.

The limp thing that had felt so powerless moments ago now throbbed firmly in her hand.
Even during their recent failed attempts, it had been weak—but now, it felt as strong as in their dating days.

"Ahh…"

A soft moan escaped her husband's lips as he grabbed her breast.

Sarah Han's breasts were large. In the past, he used to play with them for ages. But lately…

"Sarah Han… do it again… please?"

He massaged her breast as he spoke.

"You… that was incredible. Because you did it…"

Sarah Han was stunned. How…? But then she remembered the emptiness inside her—and her resolve shifted.

Yes… it wasn't another man. It was her husband.

"Hmph… like you're so special…"

She pouted, pushing his hand away from her breast.

"I'm going to sleep."

She turned her back, curling up.
She clearly heard the silent cry from below—but she buried it, turning away.

Her body refused to obey her heart.

I want to do it again…
I liked it too…
It's really okay…
Turn around…
Let him guide me again… like before…
What's there to be ashamed of?
You're my husband.
With my husband, anything is possible.

These thoughts surged within her—but shame still coiled around her spine, forcing her deeper into herself.

Sarah Han finally understood why women sucked their men's cocks.

It wasn't just what she'd seen in videos. Doing it herself, she'd discovered something entirely new—something she'd never known.

Behind her, her husband gave up after trying to soothe her for a while.
Resigned, he pressed his body tightly against her back.

"Sarah Han!!… Fine!! Whatever… let's just sleep…"

His arm reached around, grabbing her breast roughly from behind.

Huh… giving up already? If you'd just pushed a little more, I would've done it… Fool… You're such a fool…

A strange heat rose within her.

She resented him—resented that he couldn't read her heart.

Part of her wanted to climb onto him, grab his cock, and slam herself down on it.
But she couldn't.

Shame kept rising, again and again.

The thought of having pleasured him with her mouth…
of doing it secretly while he slept, when she'd refused him so many times before…

Are women really this hypocritical? She scolded herself inwardly.

Why can't things just follow her heart? He is her husband. Even if it's embarrassing, he's hers.

"Sarah Han…"

His soft voice called from behind again.

Yes… he's my husband. My own man. What's there to be ashamed of? It's okay…

She wanted to turn, to take his cock into her mouth again.

It's okay. Just do it. The voice inside urged her.

But still, she hesitated.

She almost turned—almost gave in.
But somehow, she'd built another wall.

His voice kept coming, but her body refused to respond.

As she wavered, something brushed against her buttocks.
No need to guess—it was his penis.

That same limp thing, that same organ she'd nursed with her mouth—now hard, insistent, searching for her entrance.

"Hey… stop… not from behind… I don't want that…"

Words spilled from her mouth—opposite to what she truly felt.

Inside, she screamed, Come in, fill me, now!
But her lips betrayed her, speaking denial.

"Sarah Han…"

His voice, once soft, now carried irritation.
His tone sharpened. His grip on her hip tightened—painful against her bare skin.

"Ah… ack… huh… hah… mmph…"

Suddenly, her lower body felt blocked.
The emptiness she'd longed to fill—gone in an instant.

Yes… this is it…

She felt it—finally, deeply inside her.

"Uh… why… why from behind…"

She cried out, but not in protest.

Even as she spoke, she pushed her hips further back, inviting him deeper.

Lying sideways, they shared the same pillow.

His cock from behind—truly powerful.
As strong as in their dating days, driving into her with force.

"Ahh…"

A moan slipped from her lips without her knowing.

"Mi… Sarah Han…"

But only for a moment.

Soon, her husband's breath grew labored.
Not even a minute in—he was already struggling.

"Why… why… not yet…"

She wanted to say she wasn't close. But she couldn't speak.
Didn't want to hurt him. Didn't want to remind him of his failure.

Just like always.

It was ending. Again.
Any second now, he'd pull out and retreat into sleep.

"Honey…"

So this is what a husband is?
What am I supposed to do?

If my husband doesn't understand me… then who will?

He pulls away, starts snoring again.

Left alone in the silence, Sarah Han sinks back into memory—
longing for the days when love still burned bright.